Be sure that you are willing to accept the consequenses of that prayer if you chose to utter it! Trust me on this one. I have prayed for God to work in my life like never before, to lay me open to him and give me the stregnth to surrender ALL! It really sounded good in the beginning, but around the time that my life was becoming to transparent to God, it also became transparent to those around me, and Brother.... I know what humiliation means. So what now? I could pack up my blocks and go home, or stay in the fire.
This morning I was at a prayer breakfast. It's a wonderful time each week where there is good food, and good bible study that always leaves me feeling good. Like I've done something useful on a Saturday morning. However, today was a little different. Today the topic wandered away from those bad pharisees and Sadducee and focused on me. On my next step.If you have read my earlier posts, you will know by now, that I stand on a precipice. I have had the old man destroyed behind me in a spectacularly public fashion, and now it's time to stand for God. To give it my all, to surrender all or forget it, wimp out and go back to mediocrity....
I hear the choir singing, I know the spiritual cheerleaders are cheering. The gladiators are battling, and my job stands before me. (what is my job, you ask?!?!? when I find out I'll tell you) For me today! My job is to Stand! To be counted! to be accountable! To embrace this transparency and use it as my measure. To accept my role, even if my role is one of a searching man.
But I feel the Lord moving me towards more! Towards the next step! towards his plan for my life, that is perfect! Some may look at me and say I am using God as crutch to help me past my current woes.... I say, Yes Sir! Thank you Sir! God is my crutch! God is my support! God is my help! and I remember and old saying so clear in my head....."If God be for me, Who can be against me!?!?"
Anyhow today we started talking about being filled with the holy spirit. Let me tell you that I am a pentecostal, and most of the men at this breakfast are not... But each and every man every man seemed to be open in a way this world hasn't seen since the days of W. F. Bryant! All around me were men of faith who knew that they wanted more than the traditional "go to church on Sunday morning, enjoy the social front and go back to the world by Sunday afternoon". We are hungry. Not just me, but these other men. We are all standing on the precipice ready to take the next step.
I can't tell you exactly what will happen to me or these men, but I realize that God is calling me away from the everyday ordinary life to something more! Something REAL. Something powerful! I also know that the stregnth to take this step, to live in this new life, to find the stregnth to separate myself from the temptations of the flesh, comes from the Holy Spirit. So whether I am gonna speak in tongues, or not.....I need the baptism of the Holy Spirit if I am to succeed!
Never would have thought that I would get that from my Saturday morning prayer breakfast....
If other people look at me and judge Christianity by my fruits, then Christianity is doomed to failure, because up until this point in my life I have truly been walking in my own strength! I have fallen, gotten up, fallen gotten up ect.......... I have felt the hand of God working, I have had decisions made for me about my life that were painful and needed, but have not reached for the hand of God till the next time I stumbled!!!! To truly walk this walk, I need more. PERIOD!
Those of you reading this, I ask for your prayers! For your intercession! I ask you to keep me accountable! I ask you to help me, because I need all the help I can get, but I tell you today that my eyes are on the hills and I know where my help comes from! Now I need to make that knowledge become reality!!!
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