I worked another 10 hour day...... I know that eventually the body will become accustomed to this, but for now I am one hurting and tired boy;)
I was so busy yesterday that I forgot my devotions. I feel pretty bad, that in a 24 hour day, I couldn't take an hour to read scripture, pray and write this journal. But feeling bad or not, It's time to stand back up and continue the walk.
I'm pretty sure this will be a short post, though. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel a little more inspired. The truth is, I feel like I'm going through the motions,, and even though I know I am being sincere, I hope that this is just exhaution and not a loss of fervor for God.
I really have been on fire the past couple of weeks and I need that to continue. I really feel a breakthrough is imminent and I cant wait to move on to the next level.
I think today I am going to simply be happy I'm still hungry and stop writing for the night. I am pretty sure I will be asleep about 10 mins after I close my eyes........ Good night all!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
is that a rainbow over yonder?!?!
Where to begin?!?! I had quite a day! I started my first day of work today in a new career! The choir did awesome at church tonight and my solo wasn't a flop! but the best thing happened at the end of the night and it was a true answer to prayer! God has been working in my life and in the hearsts of those I love! and a major development happened tonight! Praise God! It was also nice have a friend from the prayer breakfast on Saturday come to church this evening!.
I was reading in Daniel today. the very beginning, where Daniel and Shadrach, Meshach and Abednigo didn't eat the food or drink the wine from the kings table, yet were healthier than the other young men who ate the better fare.
It reminded me of a local pastor, who is my friend. Recently he fasted from food for 40 days! I know the doctors and world would call that reckless and unhealthy, but I can only begin to imagine what the spiritual rewards of starving the flesh are, when it is done to honor and glorify God.
I could not do that today. I don't even foresee myself coming to a spiritual maturity level where this could be possible, but I can see myself where I am right now, and I know that I need to find more ways to starve the "Old Man"!
I worked 10 hours today, woke up way earlier than usual, went right to church from work and right this moment I would like nothing more than to lay back, turn off the lights, turn on the TV and relax! Taking the time to read my bible and write this journal has been tough! But before I pat myself on the back, I need to think of Pastor Ralph and his 40 days without Cheeseburgers, Pizza, Cheesesteaks..... Cheesecake, sharp cheddar cheese before bed..... I guess this wasn't as hard as maybe I though it was, when I said, I've done so great this week. God will accept church tonight as my devotion, right? I didn't hear anyone from above agreeing with me, so there........
Later in the next chapter of Daniel, the king had his dreams. It struck me how Daniel didn't just cover his own butt, or his 3 buddies..... He urged the king not to kill all of the wise men. I'm sure some of the same men who would later orchestrate his nice stay with Leo. And I'm reminded that my job isn't just to take care of myself, but those around me....
I have been feeling a strong burden for the lost lately, maybe because I can relate to them so much myself lately. Regardless.... I need to be praying for those around me that don't believe. The ones who love me or even like me. And those that don't. Maybe especially the latter!
All I know id the rain has become a drizzle, the sun is shining through the clouds and today this walk has been a little easier and the rewards a little more apparent. Praise God, and don't let me forget why it has been getting better and who I should be thankful to and worship!!!!!!
I was reading in Daniel today. the very beginning, where Daniel and Shadrach, Meshach and Abednigo didn't eat the food or drink the wine from the kings table, yet were healthier than the other young men who ate the better fare.
It reminded me of a local pastor, who is my friend. Recently he fasted from food for 40 days! I know the doctors and world would call that reckless and unhealthy, but I can only begin to imagine what the spiritual rewards of starving the flesh are, when it is done to honor and glorify God.
I could not do that today. I don't even foresee myself coming to a spiritual maturity level where this could be possible, but I can see myself where I am right now, and I know that I need to find more ways to starve the "Old Man"!
I worked 10 hours today, woke up way earlier than usual, went right to church from work and right this moment I would like nothing more than to lay back, turn off the lights, turn on the TV and relax! Taking the time to read my bible and write this journal has been tough! But before I pat myself on the back, I need to think of Pastor Ralph and his 40 days without Cheeseburgers, Pizza, Cheesesteaks..... Cheesecake, sharp cheddar cheese before bed..... I guess this wasn't as hard as maybe I though it was, when I said, I've done so great this week. God will accept church tonight as my devotion, right? I didn't hear anyone from above agreeing with me, so there........
Later in the next chapter of Daniel, the king had his dreams. It struck me how Daniel didn't just cover his own butt, or his 3 buddies..... He urged the king not to kill all of the wise men. I'm sure some of the same men who would later orchestrate his nice stay with Leo. And I'm reminded that my job isn't just to take care of myself, but those around me....
I have been feeling a strong burden for the lost lately, maybe because I can relate to them so much myself lately. Regardless.... I need to be praying for those around me that don't believe. The ones who love me or even like me. And those that don't. Maybe especially the latter!
All I know id the rain has become a drizzle, the sun is shining through the clouds and today this walk has been a little easier and the rewards a little more apparent. Praise God, and don't let me forget why it has been getting better and who I should be thankful to and worship!!!!!!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Please pass the eggs and the Holy Spirit!!!
Be sure that you are willing to accept the consequenses of that prayer if you chose to utter it! Trust me on this one. I have prayed for God to work in my life like never before, to lay me open to him and give me the stregnth to surrender ALL! It really sounded good in the beginning, but around the time that my life was becoming to transparent to God, it also became transparent to those around me, and Brother.... I know what humiliation means. So what now? I could pack up my blocks and go home, or stay in the fire.
This morning I was at a prayer breakfast. It's a wonderful time each week where there is good food, and good bible study that always leaves me feeling good. Like I've done something useful on a Saturday morning. However, today was a little different. Today the topic wandered away from those bad pharisees and Sadducee and focused on me. On my next step.If you have read my earlier posts, you will know by now, that I stand on a precipice. I have had the old man destroyed behind me in a spectacularly public fashion, and now it's time to stand for God. To give it my all, to surrender all or forget it, wimp out and go back to mediocrity....
I hear the choir singing, I know the spiritual cheerleaders are cheering. The gladiators are battling, and my job stands before me. (what is my job, you ask?!?!? when I find out I'll tell you) For me today! My job is to Stand! To be counted! to be accountable! To embrace this transparency and use it as my measure. To accept my role, even if my role is one of a searching man.
But I feel the Lord moving me towards more! Towards the next step! towards his plan for my life, that is perfect! Some may look at me and say I am using God as crutch to help me past my current woes.... I say, Yes Sir! Thank you Sir! God is my crutch! God is my support! God is my help! and I remember and old saying so clear in my head....."If God be for me, Who can be against me!?!?"
Anyhow today we started talking about being filled with the holy spirit. Let me tell you that I am a pentecostal, and most of the men at this breakfast are not... But each and every man every man seemed to be open in a way this world hasn't seen since the days of W. F. Bryant! All around me were men of faith who knew that they wanted more than the traditional "go to church on Sunday morning, enjoy the social front and go back to the world by Sunday afternoon". We are hungry. Not just me, but these other men. We are all standing on the precipice ready to take the next step.
I can't tell you exactly what will happen to me or these men, but I realize that God is calling me away from the everyday ordinary life to something more! Something REAL. Something powerful! I also know that the stregnth to take this step, to live in this new life, to find the stregnth to separate myself from the temptations of the flesh, comes from the Holy Spirit. So whether I am gonna speak in tongues, or not.....I need the baptism of the Holy Spirit if I am to succeed!
Never would have thought that I would get that from my Saturday morning prayer breakfast....
If other people look at me and judge Christianity by my fruits, then Christianity is doomed to failure, because up until this point in my life I have truly been walking in my own strength! I have fallen, gotten up, fallen gotten up ect.......... I have felt the hand of God working, I have had decisions made for me about my life that were painful and needed, but have not reached for the hand of God till the next time I stumbled!!!! To truly walk this walk, I need more. PERIOD!
Those of you reading this, I ask for your prayers! For your intercession! I ask you to keep me accountable! I ask you to help me, because I need all the help I can get, but I tell you today that my eyes are on the hills and I know where my help comes from! Now I need to make that knowledge become reality!!!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Nero!!! put those matches down!
Today I was reading some scripture from II john. It told about the antichrists in the world...... and I said wait a minute?!?!?!? ANTICHRISTS!!! as in PLURAL?!?!? what is this that I missed.... but honestly, it didn't mess with my head all that much. I mean look at Hitler, Caligula....I think we have seen some people who were anti christ in this world we live in...
Nevertheless, it got my mind spinning off into all sorts of directions and I realized that even though there is going to be an "Arch Nemesis" of God called the "Antichrist" there are plenty of things in this world that are against Christ.
Heck there are a bunch or "radical" Muslims that want to kill us all.. But if I read it right, I need to be on the gaurd for the Not-so- Radical.... Because it says: ( II John 2: 22;23) "22Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist—he denies the Father and the Son. 23No one who denies the Son has the Father; whoever acknowledges the Son has the Father also."
So anyone who denies the son will not reach the father and I hear a lot of plain ole regular Muslim folk, Budist folk, Hindu folk, etc.... talking God, but not JESUS.......
Ok....I have to tell you that I probably rank George W. Bush up there with your Reagans and Lincolns as one of the best Presidents of all times. Why would I tell you this? Because if I haven't got the Left all heated up saying JESUS is the only way, I'll gladly throw a Bush on the fire;) LOL!! Seriously, I bring it up, because of a quote our President used when he said, "You are either with us or you"re against us!" I like that kind of (in your face) line in the sand type of talk. It's brutally honest, and like him or hate him, Mr. Bush, was an honest and honorable man.
Bringing the topic back to the Antichrist, I'll ask:" Who haven't I offended?" It doesn't matter, because this is simply a matter of "You are with us or Against us." We know the bible talks about the spiritual warfare. We know the analogies of the old man, yadayadayada.... But I think we get too comfortable in this world sometimes. We watch tv that pushes homosexuality as a perfectly reasonable, respectable, alternative to tradition. They tell us that killing a baby is a very natural and acceptable way to discardl our unwanted consequences or parts of a woman's body. It's like murder is simply a right the government should hand out to everyone..
They tell us these thing every day, all day. As loud as they possibly can. And if you don't agree, you are branded a hater, a bigot, a misogynist, Might as well put a swastika on your arm and find a white hood.... But wait a minute?!?!? Can you please explain to me, how we have come to the place where the "unchurched" for lack of better terminology is willing to believe the liberal atheist over the word of God????
Just like the days of old, maybe we need to start remembering what living a life holy unto God meant. Don't shoot me now, I'm just saying. Maybe we need to check ourselves. Listen to what we are hearing on the radio, pay attention to what we watch on TV and experience through the web. Because the devil is STILL a lion roaming to and fro, seeking whom he may devour! Little by little the compromises have been made because the flow of the world has become like the waves of an ocean. For all the good these little computers and this technology brings, they also brings stimuli to every sense we have in a way that has never been seen in the history of the world, and every litle compromise becomes bigger and bigger! Now making the walk we are trying to walk and the life we are trying to control harder to walk and harder to control!!!!!
Sin is everywhere. "Rampant" is a better word . I often wonder how much worse Sodom and Gomorrah truly were?
This is bad, you say?!? WAIT!!!!! It's worse than that! you see as the world gets stronger, the church has been getting weaker and weaker. There are alot of folks who walk into a christian church on sunday and never hear the plan of salvation. I'm not kidding. For some people, church is where the prim and proper go on Sunday morning. They see the other wonderful pillars of the community, and fellowship all the while never even thinking about what Christ went through so they could be saved. They think they are christians by baptism, by heritage.....and all the while the world roars!The waves keep lapping onto the shore.... Louder and louder! stronger and stronger, more and more insistent and permeable!!!! Even Correct by political standards......
Many of those church going folk will now tell you that if you think homosexuality is a sin, you are a Horrible misguided sop of a person! You are an Evangelical, or a Holy Roller or listen to this.....a "Radical" christian....... Hey weren't we talking about Radical Muslims not that long ago?!?!?
I believe the devil is enjoying those radical muslims so much, because if you listen to even the "fair and balanced" newscasts, you'll notice that terrorists only come from the radical muslim sects, not the good god fearing everyday kind who just follow their religion to be better people just like us christians...
Has it ever occurred to you that the AGENDA of the world is to prepare the ordinary "good" person to accept that the radical christian who isn't nice enough to let John and Ken get married and would rather poor Missy have to carry that baby to term than do the right thing and abort it is the ENEMY.........so antichrists plural?!?!? maybe one antichrist agenda that's been around since Nero set a fire in Rome and blamed it on the Christians........
I know I need to constantly be on guard because the devil would like me to seek out the pleasure the world has to offer. He would like to see the ebb and flow of the waves slowly wash away the part of me that knows right from wrong. He wants to deceive me into believing that it's ok... not that bad. "Heck not anywhere as bad as all those other people!".... But don't be decieved because one sin is the same as another..... that being said I had better just keep on walking. I don't want to stop and see what the AGENDA has to offer today, thank you very much!!!
Nevertheless, it got my mind spinning off into all sorts of directions and I realized that even though there is going to be an "Arch Nemesis" of God called the "Antichrist" there are plenty of things in this world that are against Christ.
Heck there are a bunch or "radical" Muslims that want to kill us all.. But if I read it right, I need to be on the gaurd for the Not-so- Radical.... Because it says: ( II John 2: 22;23) "22Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist—he denies the Father and the Son. 23No one who denies the Son has the Father; whoever acknowledges the Son has the Father also."
So anyone who denies the son will not reach the father and I hear a lot of plain ole regular Muslim folk, Budist folk, Hindu folk, etc.... talking God, but not JESUS.......
Ok....I have to tell you that I probably rank George W. Bush up there with your Reagans and Lincolns as one of the best Presidents of all times. Why would I tell you this? Because if I haven't got the Left all heated up saying JESUS is the only way, I'll gladly throw a Bush on the fire;) LOL!! Seriously, I bring it up, because of a quote our President used when he said, "You are either with us or you"re against us!" I like that kind of (in your face) line in the sand type of talk. It's brutally honest, and like him or hate him, Mr. Bush, was an honest and honorable man.
Bringing the topic back to the Antichrist, I'll ask:" Who haven't I offended?" It doesn't matter, because this is simply a matter of "You are with us or Against us." We know the bible talks about the spiritual warfare. We know the analogies of the old man, yadayadayada.... But I think we get too comfortable in this world sometimes. We watch tv that pushes homosexuality as a perfectly reasonable, respectable, alternative to tradition. They tell us that killing a baby is a very natural and acceptable way to discardl our unwanted consequences or parts of a woman's body. It's like murder is simply a right the government should hand out to everyone..
They tell us these thing every day, all day. As loud as they possibly can. And if you don't agree, you are branded a hater, a bigot, a misogynist, Might as well put a swastika on your arm and find a white hood.... But wait a minute?!?!? Can you please explain to me, how we have come to the place where the "unchurched" for lack of better terminology is willing to believe the liberal atheist over the word of God????
Just like the days of old, maybe we need to start remembering what living a life holy unto God meant. Don't shoot me now, I'm just saying. Maybe we need to check ourselves. Listen to what we are hearing on the radio, pay attention to what we watch on TV and experience through the web. Because the devil is STILL a lion roaming to and fro, seeking whom he may devour! Little by little the compromises have been made because the flow of the world has become like the waves of an ocean. For all the good these little computers and this technology brings, they also brings stimuli to every sense we have in a way that has never been seen in the history of the world, and every litle compromise becomes bigger and bigger! Now making the walk we are trying to walk and the life we are trying to control harder to walk and harder to control!!!!!
Sin is everywhere. "Rampant" is a better word . I often wonder how much worse Sodom and Gomorrah truly were?
This is bad, you say?!? WAIT!!!!! It's worse than that! you see as the world gets stronger, the church has been getting weaker and weaker. There are alot of folks who walk into a christian church on sunday and never hear the plan of salvation. I'm not kidding. For some people, church is where the prim and proper go on Sunday morning. They see the other wonderful pillars of the community, and fellowship all the while never even thinking about what Christ went through so they could be saved. They think they are christians by baptism, by heritage.....and all the while the world roars!The waves keep lapping onto the shore.... Louder and louder! stronger and stronger, more and more insistent and permeable!!!! Even Correct by political standards......
Many of those church going folk will now tell you that if you think homosexuality is a sin, you are a Horrible misguided sop of a person! You are an Evangelical, or a Holy Roller or listen to this.....a "Radical" christian....... Hey weren't we talking about Radical Muslims not that long ago?!?!?
I believe the devil is enjoying those radical muslims so much, because if you listen to even the "fair and balanced" newscasts, you'll notice that terrorists only come from the radical muslim sects, not the good god fearing everyday kind who just follow their religion to be better people just like us christians...
Has it ever occurred to you that the AGENDA of the world is to prepare the ordinary "good" person to accept that the radical christian who isn't nice enough to let John and Ken get married and would rather poor Missy have to carry that baby to term than do the right thing and abort it is the ENEMY.........so antichrists plural?!?!? maybe one antichrist agenda that's been around since Nero set a fire in Rome and blamed it on the Christians........
Thursday, December 2, 2010
They aren't throwing rocks because you're a Christian!!!!!! It's because you're an IDIOT!!!!
Not changing the topic, but going a little sideways, I noticed today that I say the word "repercussion" wrong. I use a soft e at the beginning. I wonder if that is a Freudian slip be cause I feel the need to soften the word that has become a mainstay in my life......
Whichever is the case I will do one more analogy than move on, I promise. I ask you, if you walked down to a large ravine and saw two bridges. One that was steel, covered and safe. One that was just a tightrope with a hand line mid waist that looked like it would snap at any second...... Which one do you cross??? I hope you'd say the steel one, but not me! Not Wile E. Coyote! I would convince myself that the flimsy rope that has started to fray must be more thrilling and probably has treasure hidden somewhere even though a sane person can see, this bridge can't hold me yet alone hide a treasure.....
All funny, but true. So getting back to repercussions..... If God has forvigen me, shouldn't the world just follow suit? I mean God is the get out of jail free card, right? right? Ok, why aren't you saying right?!?!?
Maybe because there is no get out of jail free. Maybe because this world is real life and your actions lead to real world consequences. Real repercussions..... So, you've repented, you have found your path. The choir is singing, the church is clapping you on the back, You have found peace. But it's not over. Just like Wile E. Coyote, who stands up after plummeting down the cliff only to be hit on the head by the ACME bomb, this is a world where there are real lasting consequences to the decisions we make.
Yesterday was a good day. Really it was, but it didn't feel that way. Just about the time I was starting to think the worst was behind me and felt like the work I had been doing was showing fruit, I got sacked before I even lifted the ball. At first I felt the familiar back against the wall, guard up,be offended and shocked that someone would treat me this way!!!! Didn't they see all the work I had done? Then came the victim mentality, This is just the Devil attacking me and trying to stop the work God is doing in my life!
Although it is very true that there is a war being fought over my very soul between forced I can't comprehend, the simple truth is that I am experiencing real life. Life as it comes at me, and God may have thrown my sin into the lake of forgetfulness, but only as far as it pertains to him, not my life, and not me.
I've made a bed. Unlike the comfy one I slumber in at night (and day sometimes) it is a rocky thing that is rather uncomfortable to lie in, but it is my bed and it's where I belong.
As a Christian, I didn't recieve a get out of jail free card, I recieved something better. Forgiveness from my sin and a real chance to learn, mature and move on. Also a chance to confound the world by the foolish (which is really my name).
I have real live consequences to deal with. In Ezekiel 44, God is describing the lasting consequenses that the Levites had to realize was a brand new reality, because they had sinned. They who were meant to be the light of Israel had become purveyors of idolatry and filthy in the eyes of God. They were allowed back into the temple, but aside from the line of Zadok, they had to understand new rules now appplied. Lasting rules. Rules that didn't feel good.
In the first chapter of I John, we are instructed to walk in the light. All to many times, we as Christians, step out of the light. It's not as simple as just correcting your navigational direction. Now we have to deal with the real life problems associated with those actions.
I personally have seen the Mercy of God extended over my life many times. I've even been blessed enough to not have to experience many of the consequenses I should have. But just as David first lost his child,yet later had to deal with Absalom, I have to remember that this storm is of my own making.
Yes the devil may be fighting me, but these people throwing the stones aren't persecuting me for Christ. I am not bearing a cross. I'm Wile E.Coyote and these people are the bomb that I so meticulously set up to fall on that dang Road Runner.......
I like what Casting Crowns say in one of their songs:
"I was sure by now that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say "Amen" and it's still raining.
As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you", And as Your mercy falls....I raise my hands and praise the God Who gives and takes away!!!!
I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands, For you are who you are No matter where I am. Every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand.You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise you in this storm......
I WILL PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM.....
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Take a ride on the Holy Rollercoaster!!!!
Holiness. What does it mean? who is it for? why do we keep hearing about it? Surely this was something out Grandparents and Parents talked about, but doesn't apply today, right? I mean even in the pentecostal churches, holiness is seldom preached. Is it dead?!?
It depends on your translation. But should it be dead? Didn't Peter tell us many times to be Holy?!?
In todays world it is increasingly difficult to truly understand what is asked of us as Christians. More to the point, it's easy to be mislead by things we read, and hear. Think about the information flow of today's world. I know I never wait for the evening news to find out what's going on. From twitter, to facebook to the new phrase "google it" that everyone knows, information is a real part of our lives.So much so that we take it for granted.... Do you even remember what it was like to have to go open an encyclopedia? To have to leave your house to do research? to wait all through the day till 6PM when walter Cronkite would tell you what is going on in this world? Heck, I take my phone to the bathroom in the morning, forget doing downstairs for a paper, or turning on the TV for news. I know what the overseas markets did last night while I slept and can tell you of political events occurring thousands of miles away before I've even wiped the salt from my eyes.
But is this a good thing? is this a healthy thing? I don't know., but it is the world I find myself living in. Day by day the rules of the past don't apply any longer and looking at the world, we see the all familiar political correctness movement plowing it's way into the minds of not only our children but all too often ourselves.
So again, I ask what is holiness? and does it apply? do we need it any more? do I need it any more?!?!?!
YES!!!! a hundred times over yes!
In the letters Peter wrote he spoke about holiness! and in (II Peter the 3: 15-18) it sounds not all that different from the world of today.... "15 Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. 16 He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction. 17 Therefore, dear friends, since you already know this, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of lawless men and fall from your secure position. 18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen."
I was reading from Ezekiel 40 and 41 this morning. It struck home!!! Here was a man who 14 years after the destruction of the temple found himself seeing the EXACT messurements of everything,from the size of the bolts on the door to the layout of the palm tree decorations. Why would God go to the trouble of all that detail????
Simple. God's plans are perfect. and if you are going to go through the prossess of rebuilding the temple, you might as well do it right. maybe I'm getting ahead of myself... the casual reader may ask what are you talking about? what does the rebuilding of the temple have to do with Holiness?
I argue that it is the same thing! God has an exact plan for our life. The instruction manual is the word and we all know He has been here since the beginning.....
So what about Holiness? I understand that there needs to be a line between living a life holy and acceptable unto God and placicing so many rules down that we set ourselves and worse yet our children up for failure......
I agree that the days of "no shorts, movies, jewelry, makeup, bowling, dancing etc...." are behind us and should stay there. But where does that leave us?
It leaves us responsible to find the correct path God has laid down for our lives and it leaves us to listen to the convictions of the Holy Spirit, and it leaves us to find new ways to be accountable to God. We can't leave Holiness in the dirt and move on. Because as senseless as some of those rules sound to us (enlightened?!?! LOL Hahahahahahahahahahaha) Christians. Those rules were set up not to be shackles but to be road maps leading christians in the right direction and looking out for our people as parents look after their children.
At two years of age, you tell your daughter to stay away from the stove. He or she may not be ready to understand the concept of fire being good and bad. So we don't try to explain the hard stuff, we say "stay away from that! Danger!!!!
The dances at schools are a place where two young people full of hormones find their selves moving very close to one another in a sensual way with the lights turned down and we as adults know where that can lead..... Unfortunately, those children have knowledge that we may not even have and they won't see the warning as a loving display of parental caring. They will look at us if we tell them they can't go to the dance like we have 2 heads and realize right away that we are stupid... They know they know more than us, so they don't listen. they rebel and what have we done to ourselves and our authority?
So can they go to the dance? Hey, that's up to you. But I can see where the rules come from. I don't have all the answers. I only know that we cannot compromise so much that we forget why those rules existed.
A long time ago, I heard the gentle reminding voice of God telling me not to do something. That it was bad and if I didn't get it under control, the consequenses would be bad. Not only did it effect my relationship with God, because anyone who truly worships God knows when we feel like we just aren't feeling it. We are usually even smart enough to understand why we aren't feeling it, and if we don't listen to the gentle voice now, we find ourselves in a position like mine......
Our Christian life shouldn't be a roller coaster, but if we stumble and fall, it can sure feel like we have just been flung from a roller coaster traveling on the bumpy tracks at 60+ MPH....... Believe me I do!
So today I find that I need to make sacrifices in my life. I need to get back to the plan God has set for my life. I may not understand the small portion of the blueprint that I can see, but I know God has the finished plan all set.
So as before I'll walk my road one day at a time.........
It depends on your translation. But should it be dead? Didn't Peter tell us many times to be Holy?!?
In todays world it is increasingly difficult to truly understand what is asked of us as Christians. More to the point, it's easy to be mislead by things we read, and hear. Think about the information flow of today's world. I know I never wait for the evening news to find out what's going on. From twitter, to facebook to the new phrase "google it" that everyone knows, information is a real part of our lives.So much so that we take it for granted.... Do you even remember what it was like to have to go open an encyclopedia? To have to leave your house to do research? to wait all through the day till 6PM when walter Cronkite would tell you what is going on in this world? Heck, I take my phone to the bathroom in the morning, forget doing downstairs for a paper, or turning on the TV for news. I know what the overseas markets did last night while I slept and can tell you of political events occurring thousands of miles away before I've even wiped the salt from my eyes.
But is this a good thing? is this a healthy thing? I don't know., but it is the world I find myself living in. Day by day the rules of the past don't apply any longer and looking at the world, we see the all familiar political correctness movement plowing it's way into the minds of not only our children but all too often ourselves.
So again, I ask what is holiness? and does it apply? do we need it any more? do I need it any more?!?!?!
YES!!!! a hundred times over yes!
In the letters Peter wrote he spoke about holiness! and in (II Peter the 3: 15-18) it sounds not all that different from the world of today.... "15 Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. 16 He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction. 17 Therefore, dear friends, since you already know this, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of lawless men and fall from your secure position. 18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen."
I was reading from Ezekiel 40 and 41 this morning. It struck home!!! Here was a man who 14 years after the destruction of the temple found himself seeing the EXACT messurements of everything,from the size of the bolts on the door to the layout of the palm tree decorations. Why would God go to the trouble of all that detail????
Simple. God's plans are perfect. and if you are going to go through the prossess of rebuilding the temple, you might as well do it right. maybe I'm getting ahead of myself... the casual reader may ask what are you talking about? what does the rebuilding of the temple have to do with Holiness?
I argue that it is the same thing! God has an exact plan for our life. The instruction manual is the word and we all know He has been here since the beginning.....
So what about Holiness? I understand that there needs to be a line between living a life holy and acceptable unto God and placicing so many rules down that we set ourselves and worse yet our children up for failure......
I agree that the days of "no shorts, movies, jewelry, makeup, bowling, dancing etc...." are behind us and should stay there. But where does that leave us?
It leaves us responsible to find the correct path God has laid down for our lives and it leaves us to listen to the convictions of the Holy Spirit, and it leaves us to find new ways to be accountable to God. We can't leave Holiness in the dirt and move on. Because as senseless as some of those rules sound to us (enlightened?!?! LOL Hahahahahahahahahahaha) Christians. Those rules were set up not to be shackles but to be road maps leading christians in the right direction and looking out for our people as parents look after their children.
At two years of age, you tell your daughter to stay away from the stove. He or she may not be ready to understand the concept of fire being good and bad. So we don't try to explain the hard stuff, we say "stay away from that! Danger!!!!
The dances at schools are a place where two young people full of hormones find their selves moving very close to one another in a sensual way with the lights turned down and we as adults know where that can lead..... Unfortunately, those children have knowledge that we may not even have and they won't see the warning as a loving display of parental caring. They will look at us if we tell them they can't go to the dance like we have 2 heads and realize right away that we are stupid... They know they know more than us, so they don't listen. they rebel and what have we done to ourselves and our authority?
So can they go to the dance? Hey, that's up to you. But I can see where the rules come from. I don't have all the answers. I only know that we cannot compromise so much that we forget why those rules existed.
A long time ago, I heard the gentle reminding voice of God telling me not to do something. That it was bad and if I didn't get it under control, the consequenses would be bad. Not only did it effect my relationship with God, because anyone who truly worships God knows when we feel like we just aren't feeling it. We are usually even smart enough to understand why we aren't feeling it, and if we don't listen to the gentle voice now, we find ourselves in a position like mine......
Our Christian life shouldn't be a roller coaster, but if we stumble and fall, it can sure feel like we have just been flung from a roller coaster traveling on the bumpy tracks at 60+ MPH....... Believe me I do!
So today I find that I need to make sacrifices in my life. I need to get back to the plan God has set for my life. I may not understand the small portion of the blueprint that I can see, but I know God has the finished plan all set.
So as before I'll walk my road one day at a time.........
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
You don't kinow Jack!
Everybody Knows who King David is. We all grew up with the stories of David. From his harp, to Goliath, to Bathsheba etc..... If you go to church often enough, you know that God calls David a man after his own heart. So how did David feel when Nathan came one day to have a chat with him?
(II Samuel 12) We know how David felt, we also know how he reacted and we know that through it all, even though there were horrible consequences for his sin, God stayed with David and he persevered.
I bring this up, because it gives me a lot of hope, that God will stay with me and keep me no matter where I've strayed and when I've faltered.
My favorite kind of read is alternate history... I Love what ifs! From the South winning the civil war to Hitler winning WII, it is fascinating to imagine what if....which brings me to the story of Jack.
What if my Father's friend Jack was stealing from the cookie jar, my father finds out, but promises Jack he won't tell anyone. He thinks this is the best way to keep Jack's family happy and he truly cares about both Jack and his family.
However, I am close with my mom and he tells me about Jack in confidence, because he knows I would never betray the secret and a father and son share many things that the rest of the world doesn't have any business knowing.Later down the road, I steal from my Father's cookie jar, and get caught...... I am humiliated because of my sin! I am devistated by the look in my father's eye and the knowledge it brings.
The knowledge that the betrayal was horrible for Dad to deal with. That he was hurt very badly by what I had done. What a horrible situation to be in.
Now what would I do if Jack went about shouting about my mistake to everyone he could in an attempt to hurt, humiliate and embarrass me?!? Inside the Rage at the injustice! The anger at a world where Jack would think he had the right to do this!!!!
Yes, we all know this makes Jack is a hypocrite, but if we tell anyone we know this, even Jack himself, we have sinned against our father once again, because we broke his confidence.
What would you do?!?
If you were strong enough to do "the next right thing" you'd turn the other cheek, keep your mouth shut and not break your Dad's trust. But how would that feel? Would it frustrate you. Would your sense of right and wrong be offended? Would you try to figure out how to tell the jerk, Jack, that you know his secret and point out that you could hurt him any time you chose to?
You could do that, but in the end, how would that help you or your Father? How would a loving God feel about you. Probably much like the judge Jesus told about in the parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18: 21-35. You see it would hurt everyone else and would be very much like any other selfish sin......This is all a vague story and I hope nobody ever recognizes the "real life" analogy it pertains to.
Believe me, I am not a King David, and I will never be in a position to stand in judgment over other people. Actually this situation reminds me that many people look at the church and folks who attend church as hypocrites. There are a lot of people who attend church, who sit in exalted positions within the church that have the (WRONG) opinion, that they have "arrived". That they are better than the folks who don't go to church. It just so happens they are the people who give God's bride a bad name!
I didn't mean to step up on a soap box there, I just thought about it and needed to remind myself of the situation for two reasons. One, so I don't walk down this road with God and forget where I came from then turn around and look down at people who are not as far along as me with some sense of superiority to make myself feel better. Secondly, so I remember not to get angry with the people who point at the church and call her a hypocrite. Besides most people who have an angst against the church, have real life problems or convictions that make them feel that way.We should pray for them. I should pray for Jack. Period!
I think this has probably been a blog that is too vague for the casual reader. I apologize for that, but I hope it has brought some insight into your life and if you are reading this. It's best not to be Jack. It's also good to remain humble because Paul said it best when he said "the weaker I am the stronger God is" (paraphrased) Well I'm pretty weak! I'm so very thankful for the grace of God and the stregnth and peace he has bestowed upon me.
My walk today has been rough, I'm exhausted, but I can look back and see real progress... I'm wondering why there are only one set of footprints, though........
(II Samuel 12) We know how David felt, we also know how he reacted and we know that through it all, even though there were horrible consequences for his sin, God stayed with David and he persevered.
I bring this up, because it gives me a lot of hope, that God will stay with me and keep me no matter where I've strayed and when I've faltered.
My favorite kind of read is alternate history... I Love what ifs! From the South winning the civil war to Hitler winning WII, it is fascinating to imagine what if....which brings me to the story of Jack.
What if my Father's friend Jack was stealing from the cookie jar, my father finds out, but promises Jack he won't tell anyone. He thinks this is the best way to keep Jack's family happy and he truly cares about both Jack and his family.
However, I am close with my mom and he tells me about Jack in confidence, because he knows I would never betray the secret and a father and son share many things that the rest of the world doesn't have any business knowing.Later down the road, I steal from my Father's cookie jar, and get caught...... I am humiliated because of my sin! I am devistated by the look in my father's eye and the knowledge it brings.
The knowledge that the betrayal was horrible for Dad to deal with. That he was hurt very badly by what I had done. What a horrible situation to be in.
Now what would I do if Jack went about shouting about my mistake to everyone he could in an attempt to hurt, humiliate and embarrass me?!? Inside the Rage at the injustice! The anger at a world where Jack would think he had the right to do this!!!!
Yes, we all know this makes Jack is a hypocrite, but if we tell anyone we know this, even Jack himself, we have sinned against our father once again, because we broke his confidence.
What would you do?!?
If you were strong enough to do "the next right thing" you'd turn the other cheek, keep your mouth shut and not break your Dad's trust. But how would that feel? Would it frustrate you. Would your sense of right and wrong be offended? Would you try to figure out how to tell the jerk, Jack, that you know his secret and point out that you could hurt him any time you chose to?
You could do that, but in the end, how would that help you or your Father? How would a loving God feel about you. Probably much like the judge Jesus told about in the parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18: 21-35. You see it would hurt everyone else and would be very much like any other selfish sin......This is all a vague story and I hope nobody ever recognizes the "real life" analogy it pertains to.
Believe me, I am not a King David, and I will never be in a position to stand in judgment over other people. Actually this situation reminds me that many people look at the church and folks who attend church as hypocrites. There are a lot of people who attend church, who sit in exalted positions within the church that have the (WRONG) opinion, that they have "arrived". That they are better than the folks who don't go to church. It just so happens they are the people who give God's bride a bad name!
I didn't mean to step up on a soap box there, I just thought about it and needed to remind myself of the situation for two reasons. One, so I don't walk down this road with God and forget where I came from then turn around and look down at people who are not as far along as me with some sense of superiority to make myself feel better. Secondly, so I remember not to get angry with the people who point at the church and call her a hypocrite. Besides most people who have an angst against the church, have real life problems or convictions that make them feel that way.We should pray for them. I should pray for Jack. Period!
I think this has probably been a blog that is too vague for the casual reader. I apologize for that, but I hope it has brought some insight into your life and if you are reading this. It's best not to be Jack. It's also good to remain humble because Paul said it best when he said "the weaker I am the stronger God is" (paraphrased) Well I'm pretty weak! I'm so very thankful for the grace of God and the stregnth and peace he has bestowed upon me.
My walk today has been rough, I'm exhausted, but I can look back and see real progress... I'm wondering why there are only one set of footprints, though........
Monday, November 29, 2010
November 29,2010 The joy of having your teeth kicked in!
If you had told me a couple of years ago, that some of my deepest dark secrets would come out in a public fashion, causing complete humiliation, I would have been horrified beyond comprehension.
So what makes me think that anyone in his or her right mind, would want to follow my blog?!?! Why would I put it out there for criticism, cynicism and the myriad of abuse I will probably experience, because of these public glimpses into my mind?!?
To be honest. I'm not sure if anyone will read it, and I'm not sure what they will say, feel, think or do about what they read, but for me, this is a way to put my thoughts and expectations into something more organized and productive, what happens from here will be a wait and see.
Your first question may be what is it you did that came out into the public. I'm not gonna answer that today. Instead I'm gonna look at the repercussions and my actions and reactions. If I continue to write this, I'm sure all of the secrets will come out. If and when they do, we will see what you think and feel.
So what happened? I got caught doing something bad that has (if not ended) put my marriage in jeapardy.
and to make it worse, it led my wife to investigate my life a little more closely and has brought to light more skeletons that just make this the worst week of my life.......
So what happens here? What do I do? To be honest, I almost acted cowardly and thought about cutting my losses and just moving forward, hoping to find comfort and peace in a new future with a lack of responsibility or repercussions from the past. How close? I don't know, but it was definitely tempting.
I did not, do that, though. The reason I didn't is this didn't just creep up on me (although it certainly felt that way) it came to me over time, through unheeded warnings that were placed in my path from God.
God you ask? How did he get into this story? Well, maybe I should back up a little. Not back to the beginning, but back to the spring. My father passed away on April 9, 2010. This day will forever be a major day in my life. I loved my father very much, relied on him heavily, and was devastated in many ways by his passing. I felt like I was on a raging fast flowing river and had lost my paddles. I spent a few days into weeks in shock.
One Sunday while at church I felt the gentle voice of God come into my mind and urge me to go to the alter and pray with a man who obviously was a foreiner. I obeyed. I went and prayed with the man, after the service, I looked for him, (I don't go around every day thinking God is urging me to do things... so this was very unique to me.) It turned out to be a vague and weird experience, but a life changing epiphany. He was a very little man, probably here illegally, from Mexico. and when I introduced myself to him, he said his name was Cecil! Unless you were from where I am, you probably wouldn't understand that I have never met another man in my life with that name except for my father who had died a few weeks previously.
Still. Nothing changed right there, it wasn't until Tuesday two days later that something miraculous and wonderful happened to me. I woke up hours earlier than usual with a lot more energy that I have had in a very long time, and I realized that my whole "worldview" had changed. and not just a little, It felt like I had made a wrong turn in my teens, and was finally seeing the true meaning of life for the first time in 20 years!!!
For a couple of days,my family looked at me strange,and I was unable to really put into words what had happened, but the easiest way to explain it is I saw the light! I was born again! I had a new lease on life.
I started out great!!! with great vigor, I began to restructure my life, I began to have faith in this glimps of how my life should be and I was running down the road to it as quickly as I possibly could.
Unfortunately, after months went on, I realized that to live this new life, changes needed to happen in my life, and instead of making the changes, I buried the past under some new dirt and kept going on my way.
I won't go into details today, but as I truly built a better life, and made great changes the past stayed there, under foot waiting for the day I would be distracted and it could come back rushing into my life. It took a couple of months and June found me leading a double life.
I am a recovering alcoholic and I have a past history, a rap sheet if you will of familiar behavior. I was very good at hiding anything in my life I did not want other people to see. Maybe even me.....
Anyway, it all came to a head 8 days ago. I went out and did something shameful and got caught. Last Monday, my wife walked out the door and has yet to return.......
This past week has been the worst week in my life, but in a way it has also been a good week. You see even if I was unwilling to remove the sin in my life, I found that the exposure of it gave me the freedom and stregnth to do something about it. Something concrete, something that needed to be done, but was harder for me to do that I think I could have done on my own. Today I feel like Paul when he said: (2 Corinthians 12:9-11)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. I have made a fool of myself, but you drove me to it. I ought to have been commended by you, for I am not in the least inferior to the “super-apostles,”[a] even though I am nothing.
And in my weakness, I have seen my road once again. Right there waiting for me to walk Not any better than before, definitely weakened, but stronger than ever before, Because I am beginning to see that Even though I am not able to live this life in my flesh. Even though I don't have a clue of what I am doing, God is guiding me in the direction he wants me to go.
To end this off today, I will admit, I sure wish it was a little easier sometimes. It felt like I got kicked in the teeth, but if that is what I needed to get the message, Kick me again!
So what makes me think that anyone in his or her right mind, would want to follow my blog?!?! Why would I put it out there for criticism, cynicism and the myriad of abuse I will probably experience, because of these public glimpses into my mind?!?
To be honest. I'm not sure if anyone will read it, and I'm not sure what they will say, feel, think or do about what they read, but for me, this is a way to put my thoughts and expectations into something more organized and productive, what happens from here will be a wait and see.
Your first question may be what is it you did that came out into the public. I'm not gonna answer that today. Instead I'm gonna look at the repercussions and my actions and reactions. If I continue to write this, I'm sure all of the secrets will come out. If and when they do, we will see what you think and feel.
So what happened? I got caught doing something bad that has (if not ended) put my marriage in jeapardy.
and to make it worse, it led my wife to investigate my life a little more closely and has brought to light more skeletons that just make this the worst week of my life.......
So what happens here? What do I do? To be honest, I almost acted cowardly and thought about cutting my losses and just moving forward, hoping to find comfort and peace in a new future with a lack of responsibility or repercussions from the past. How close? I don't know, but it was definitely tempting.
I did not, do that, though. The reason I didn't is this didn't just creep up on me (although it certainly felt that way) it came to me over time, through unheeded warnings that were placed in my path from God.
God you ask? How did he get into this story? Well, maybe I should back up a little. Not back to the beginning, but back to the spring. My father passed away on April 9, 2010. This day will forever be a major day in my life. I loved my father very much, relied on him heavily, and was devastated in many ways by his passing. I felt like I was on a raging fast flowing river and had lost my paddles. I spent a few days into weeks in shock.
One Sunday while at church I felt the gentle voice of God come into my mind and urge me to go to the alter and pray with a man who obviously was a foreiner. I obeyed. I went and prayed with the man, after the service, I looked for him, (I don't go around every day thinking God is urging me to do things... so this was very unique to me.) It turned out to be a vague and weird experience, but a life changing epiphany. He was a very little man, probably here illegally, from Mexico. and when I introduced myself to him, he said his name was Cecil! Unless you were from where I am, you probably wouldn't understand that I have never met another man in my life with that name except for my father who had died a few weeks previously.
Still. Nothing changed right there, it wasn't until Tuesday two days later that something miraculous and wonderful happened to me. I woke up hours earlier than usual with a lot more energy that I have had in a very long time, and I realized that my whole "worldview" had changed. and not just a little, It felt like I had made a wrong turn in my teens, and was finally seeing the true meaning of life for the first time in 20 years!!!
For a couple of days,my family looked at me strange,and I was unable to really put into words what had happened, but the easiest way to explain it is I saw the light! I was born again! I had a new lease on life.
I started out great!!! with great vigor, I began to restructure my life, I began to have faith in this glimps of how my life should be and I was running down the road to it as quickly as I possibly could.
Unfortunately, after months went on, I realized that to live this new life, changes needed to happen in my life, and instead of making the changes, I buried the past under some new dirt and kept going on my way.
I won't go into details today, but as I truly built a better life, and made great changes the past stayed there, under foot waiting for the day I would be distracted and it could come back rushing into my life. It took a couple of months and June found me leading a double life.
I am a recovering alcoholic and I have a past history, a rap sheet if you will of familiar behavior. I was very good at hiding anything in my life I did not want other people to see. Maybe even me.....
Anyway, it all came to a head 8 days ago. I went out and did something shameful and got caught. Last Monday, my wife walked out the door and has yet to return.......
This past week has been the worst week in my life, but in a way it has also been a good week. You see even if I was unwilling to remove the sin in my life, I found that the exposure of it gave me the freedom and stregnth to do something about it. Something concrete, something that needed to be done, but was harder for me to do that I think I could have done on my own. Today I feel like Paul when he said: (2 Corinthians 12:9-11)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. I have made a fool of myself, but you drove me to it. I ought to have been commended by you, for I am not in the least inferior to the “super-apostles,”[a] even though I am nothing.
And in my weakness, I have seen my road once again. Right there waiting for me to walk Not any better than before, definitely weakened, but stronger than ever before, Because I am beginning to see that Even though I am not able to live this life in my flesh. Even though I don't have a clue of what I am doing, God is guiding me in the direction he wants me to go.
To end this off today, I will admit, I sure wish it was a little easier sometimes. It felt like I got kicked in the teeth, but if that is what I needed to get the message, Kick me again!
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